When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work ask him, 'Whose?'
- Don Marquis
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.
- Gil Stern
You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out.
- Warren Buffett
A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.
- Unknown (if you know the name, Please let me know via comment)
Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
- Dave Letterman